Return Of The Jedi

I'd let Sy Snootles ruin my life

Return Of The Jedi is the final (HAR HAR) installment of the Star Wars saga. If you haven’t seen any of the previous films in the series, major spoilers ahead, also what’re you doing reading this? In the final installment of the Star Wars saga Luke, Leia, Lando, (lotta Ls) and the gang rescue the smuggler and future deadbeat dad, Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. During which time it is revealed that The Emperor of the galaxy is personally overseeing the construction of a second Death Star. Learning this, the Rebel Alliance must destroy it all while Luke confronts the evil (sort of) Darth Vader and brings him back to the Light Side of The Force.

This film does not let you breath in a way where even Raiders Of The Lost Ark is like “SLOW DOWN.” We go from laughing at the stuff in Jabba’s palace to crying over an Ewok dying SO fast. This film starts a long tradition of the 3rd installments of Star Wars trilogies wherein you start light hearted and fun and then by the end of it you’re like “How did we get here?”

So, Return Of The Jedi. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it too many times to count and yet, and yet I saw it again. I felt compelled to. A desire came over I hadn’t felt since I saw it last time.

Here’s the thing about ROTJ (What we in the Star Wars biz call Return Of The Jedi for brevity’s sake, but in explaining that I’ve just made this review longer, which I suppose is the point despite me not getting paid per word)

ANYWAY, Here’s the thing about Return Of The Jedi, (Shit I forgot to do the ROTJ thing) it rules. Stem to stern it’s an action packed blast and a half. It was my favorite Star War growing up. I love the freaks in Jabba’s palace, I love the speeder bike chase, I even love the Ewoks. With that being said, why does Princess Leia have a fierce eyeliner situation going on? She has blush on, too. That’s crazy! You’re in the middle of a battle but you have to pull out your compact? *Seinfeld voice* WHAT’S THE DEAL??

Or maybe, she’s truly born with it as we never see her without eyeliner on. Maybe, it’s an Alderaanian tradition to get eyeliner tattoo(wine)ed when you' come of age! Maybe she does just care about looking hot because the boy she likes is sitting right next to her! Whatever the case may be it took me out of the movie. I can believe the weird carnivorous teddy bears, and the giant slug, hell even the weird pit that looks like a case study for vagina dentira is fine. BUT MAKEUP IN BATTLE?

In case you are dense, I am joking here.

Return Of The Jedi (ROTJ) is great, there have been some changes made to it over the years that I don’t particularly like, but the film is great. Mark Hamill’s performance as Luke is moving and gentle, Harrison truly has nothing to do and consequently is just having fun with it, and I would let Sy Snootles ruin my life.

Would.

Anyway, go watch ROTJ (Return Of The Jedi) if you want a fun, sprawling space adventure that’s about generational trauma and overcoming that.

The runtime is 132 minutes