Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD :(
How to handle the sad, bad, not glad winter months.
It’s the bleak, bleak period between the holidays and the rest of your life and you might be feeling a bit bluer than usual. This is normal under the circumstances at hand, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees, and toes.
A lot of folks are living through what is known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, the most accurate and condescending of acronyms. Not to be confused with Seasonal Effective Disorder which is the new term for Climate Change.
“What is Seasonal Affective Disorder and why the hell should I care?” You may be asking yourself. I have answers to that great two-part question you just asked!
1. Seasonal Affective Disorder basically means getting depressed when there’s less sun to go around because much like Superman WE LOVE THE SUN.
2. Perhaps you should try out an empathy-building class.
Now, you may be wondering, “Tristan, what is the sun and why is it such a big deal?”
Oh!! Another great two-part question! I love this enthusiasm.
The sun is a star! What’s a star it’s a big flaming ball of gas that lives in Beverly Hills or in outer space. (Outer space as opposed to inner space or what we call the mind, but we can get to that later.)
It’s a big deal because it is the thing that the Earth travels around in a rotation, much like a chicken in a supermarket, (Super from the Latin greater than and Market from the Greek word for Dollar General.) The Sun also controls the weather, when we’re facing the Sun we have warmer seasons and when we have colder seasons it means the Sun is mad at us.
“That’s all well and good, but what does this have to do with me?”
Good question! You know that pang in your stomach and lack of energy you’re not exactly sure where it’s been coming from, but it’s been steadily harder to get out of bed and do things you generally enjoy that you’ve been having since just after Thanksgiving but before Chanukah?
That’s Seasonal Affective Disorder! Also known in some circles as “Post Turkey Pardon Depression.”
“Great,” you’re saying to your computer screen. “But, how can I fix it?”
You can’t! It will always be there waiting for you every year no matter how successful you feel in life. However, there are some ways to alleviate the symptoms.
Give up.
This will pass just like a terrible emotional kidney stone. If you want, you can just wait it out.
Start taking antidepressants.
This will make you feel like a cool celebrity that talks about their mental health on a podcast. It also may help you feel better for a while and if it doesn’t, who cares? It’s not like depression, which is a chronic illness that is responsible for many deaths in America and around the world. Hold on, I’m just getting word that in fact it is the opposite of what I just said and you should probably just talk to a doctor and not a comedian whose column you are paying for.
Complain to your friends!
Kvetching is a great way to bond with your friends. Whether it’s about the latest Star Wars or the fact that you might want to end your life, people will always enjoy a good bitch session. Specifically, if you let the other person go first, and then they can just pretend to listen to your problems, bobbing their head up and down like one of those birds that dip into a bowl of water, this is also known as therapy.
Therapy!
You can also PAY someone to do the thing I just said you could get for free from a good friend.
Start a bunch of creative projects that you have no intention of completing!
Creating art, entertainment, or just having creative hobbies is a great way to get out of a slump. However, it is imperative that you go in with the mindset of never wanting to complete them as this will remove guilt about it later.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a huge pain in the ass and I hope you’re getting through it as best as you can. Like everything, it’s amplified by the current global health crisis. Please make sure to drink enough water and take care of yourself out there!
Stay safe and have fun!
Tristan
